I think that my best quality, and the one that always gets me into trouble is my honesty. I had my 15 minutes of fame in 2011 when I decided to tell my dad I was gay, put it on YouTube, and it blew up. I didn’t do it for the fame, I didn’t do it to embarrass my family, I did it to put it out in the open. I would rather somebody hear it first hand, than for people to be whispering behind me.
I had a pretty serious spell of depression from 2014-2017. I never cried, I never felt like I might harm myself, but I just never felt much passion. I really feel like I completely shook it off in May of 2017, and have been pretty damn good since then.
I have had some weeks here or there where could feel myself slipping back into it, and have been able to keep it at arms length. I have been going through another tiny cloud for the last few weeks. It is a combination of shorter/colder days, business slowing down rapidly, some financial stress, not seeing my family for the holidays, an overall lack of motivation, and just a flaw that I have in my brain.
On Monday, 26 Nov 2018, I stopped giving myself excuses, and wrote down Beginning of Randy 2.0 on my calendar. One thing that I thought my life needed was just some exposure. I wanted to put it out in the open that I was having some struggles. I feel like in the days of Instagram and Facebook, everybody just shows their best side, and hides all their struggles.
I started a little vlog for accountability and just to be able to talk out what was going on. It is not in the least bit exciting, but if you want to follow along you can do it here.
I swear, I’m fine. No need to reach out. I just wanted to shed a little light on some things. But I am sorry to all my friends who have tried to reach out to me when I’ve been struggling with depression, and I’ve ignored you.